3. When Lana Del Rey was on Myspace her name was Lizzy Grant because that is her real name.
Her interests included Britney Spears, motorcycles, poison, and morphine.
Seems about right.
4. Kim Kardashian was known as “Princess Kimberly” and her url was “kimsaprincess” and her header quote said “I’m a PRINCESS and you’re not so there!”
So that’s that.
This was her top 8. Note Ray J at only #4, which clearly violated the “your boyfriend should always be #1 in your top 8 clause.”
Also her layout using Pimp-My-Profile.com.
5. This was Kesha’s bio:
“THE TIME HAS COME TO GET ROWDY MOTHERFUCKERS!!!!!!!”
“Sometimes I wish I was a man…its all about the bj’s and trash-stash.”
“Mick Jagger might be my dad. Love ya dad.”
And here are 10 things she wanted you to know about her:
She was obsessed with roller-skating, MINIATURE GOLF, garage sales, estate sales, camping, and theme parties.
Basiiiically every mid-2000s white girl thing.
Here he is showing that he had friends who are girls:
A classic move of the time period was to post pictures of yourself hanging with girls. It made you look cool.
This was her bio in 2007. It’s a good read:
I play a 12-string guitar, and have since I was 12. I’m a songwriter first and foremost, and I have never written anything I didn’t mean. I am obsessed with lyrics. I love Tennessee. And talking to people. I was born on December 13th, 1989. Thirteen is my lucky number. I can tell you some REALLY weird coincidences that involve that number.. Long story short, 13 is good. I am the most competetive person I know. I never really got into sports, so I guess you could say music is my game. I love people who are nice to me, I’ve never been one to say things like “All you people think you know me, well you don’t”. I’m not that complicated. My complications come out in my songs. All you need to do to be my friend is like me. I don’t wear high heels alot because I’m afraid of falling in front of large groups of people. My middle name is Alison. I’m most comfortable in dresses, not old faded blue jeans—surprisingly. I sing country music, I am obsessed with that too. I guess you kinda have to be. I have beautiful friends. Be one. I really like it when people tell me they like my music, it’s everything I’ve got so it really means alot to me. I’m really weird sometimes, but you are too. I’ve never been the kind of girl who needs a boyfriend. I don’t go out looking for guys. But then again, I don’t write alot of love songs. Basically.. I’m single. I love pictures, I have a bunch of them hung up in my bus bunk. Because you can’t forget where you came from. I need everything to be organized. All the time. I think little kids are awesome. I’m just going to warn you now: If you start a conversation about Law and Order: SVU or CSI with me, we will be talking for at least an hour. I consider myself an expert on those two things.. only those two things. I love trucks. They are works of art. I’m a thinker and an over-analyzer. I’m 5’11. I’m not jaded. And to all the people who have ever blasted my songs from their car stereo, thank you from the bottom of my heart.
She played at malls:
For those that can’t read that, it says:
“rihanna i love you so much i live in hoboken nj and i really want to see u in the mall on the 25th and i wanted to kno wut time u gonna be there pllzzzz get back to me”
10. And lastly, your king of embarrassing old Myspace pics: Tom Hardy.
Most of his pictures appeared to have been taken with a potato.
Last but certainly not least, the original caption on this picture was captioned: “x i’m cooking a turkey yo x x”
What a time to have been alive.