Dear Joel Osteen, Is Being a Sellout Shepherd Your Ministry?

It’s been a long while since I’ve written a sternly-worded letter. Clearly, I am overdue.

I have been spurred to write one because of an interview that popular pastor, Joel Osteen, gave on the radio in October 2015 (5 months ago), where he basically placed a stamp of approval on Donald Trump, satan’s mentee. Fast forward to 3:50 mark, where it begins.


Dear Joel Osteen,

How big was it, Joel? How big was the check that Donald Trump wrote you? Or should I ask how many checks with many zeros has he written you over the years? More importantly, “What profits a man who gains the world and loses his soul?” What’s the price tag for your soul’s wholeness? How many commas?

You got on the radio to promote your book, and the interviewer asked you what you think about Donald Trump. You said:

“Mr. Trump is an incredible communicator and brander. He’s been a friend of our ministry. He’s a good man.”

Ron Burgundy what did you say


The devil is busy and he got more helpers than we even know. Again, I ask. How big have the checks been, Joel?

Donald the Dusty Degenerate is a good man?? In the words of Saint Robin Fenty “BISHWHERE?” How can you, as a supposed Man of God feel okay saying that? How can you have kind words about him at this moment, when that man has built a platform on spewing hate, inciting chaos, othering anyone who isn’t a white man and claiming he’ll build a wall to keep people out. THAT man is the one you’re saying is a “good man.”

Anything less than denouncing Donald Trump’s words is approving of it. Anything other than acknowledging how dangerous he is, and how NOT OKAY it is to be a raging islamophobe, racist and classist douchebag, is approval. To call him a “good man” is to give him a high five, and that is what you did, Joel. It was wrong and it can’t even get right.

wrong as hell gif

This is the boolsheet folks are justifiably angry about when it comes to Prosperity Prophets. You are leading a church where thousands attend every Sunday, and millions of people around the world watch the services. The people who sit in those pews are the very people that Donald Trump would send to a concentration camp if he gets the chance. The people who are putting money in your pocket and in that church’s building fund are the ones he will sell down the river at the blink of an eye. All those books you’ve sold. I bet a huge bulk of them have been bought by Black and brown people, who Drumpf demonizes as mouth exercise. And instead of standing up for them, speaking up against the hate that he represents, you whored yourself out. Because he’s been “a friend to the ministry.” It’s highly unfortunate yet unsurprising.

This is in the vein of countless pimps who stand in pulpits and preach to poor people who they don’t even fight for. Similarly, Paula White, who leads a mostly Black church just came out for Trump too. Some of these shepherds stay setting their sheep up for slaughter, and that is not of God. That is not the key into Heaven.

I wouldn’t have taken you for a fuckboi, Joel. I didn’t follow you closely but I knew of you and knew how highly respected and liked you were. Now I see it’s all a shroud. You’re just another crook in a Christian cloak. I rebuke your kind in the name of Shadrack, Meshack, Abednego and their Billy Goat.

Shame gif

I remember a couple of years back when your church got robbed. The thief got away with $600,000 cash and all they did was break into the church safe, which is emptied every day. You made $600,000 IN CASH made in one day. This doesn’t include those who donated online or with checks. You bring in $32 million a year. You are running a fortune 500 business here, not a place of worship, and it looks like one of your investors just happens to be Squirrel Wig McRacistPants. Of course you’d stand up for him.

Don’t even get me started on how I think churches who are over a certain revenue mark need to be paying taxes. I believe that they need a new system to classify nonprofits, because a $10,000 budget and a $50 million budget shouldn’t be treated the same. But that’s a whole other post.

A barrier for a lot of people to have faith and practice religion are the very people who are supposed to evangelize the Word. I am a lifelong Christian and my faith stands alone, apart from any individual. I am a Christian IN SPITE of these types of instances, and it is a testament to my connection to God being strong enough to where I am not completely disillusioned at these fake ass, ain’t here for the greater good ass pastors.

Something tells me that at the gates of Heaven, a lot of the people who will be left behind will be the ones who’ve considered themselves spokespeople for God. St. Peter gon be like “Who is this strangerbish? I don’t know him.”

who the hell are you gif

Black women probably guard the door of Heaven. BOOP.

Now we gotta send a press release to the Delegation of Black Mamas Who Love Joel Osteen. We gotta tell them what you did and break their hearts. We gotta tell them to cancel the picnic they were planning this summer. YOU’RE ADDING TO MONDAY WORKLOAD, JOEL.

And another one bites the dust. One good thing about Trump’s elevation is that many people have showed their asses. People are not able to hide who they are anymore and the grass is being cut so ALL the snakes are visible now. I wouldn’t have taken you for a cobra, Joel. Now that we know, you can’t shed this skin. Be a friend of Trump’s but that means you’re an enemy of progress.

P.S. I expect you’ll do another interview in a few days where you backtrack. Just know that we don’t believe you and you need more people.


P.P.S. People talmbout “this interview is from October 2015. It’s not fair.” Wait. Wayment. Did Donald Trump just become the devil’s understudy in 2016? Did people forget that his campaign BEEN stuck on stupid since at least mid 2015? Did you lose the memory that he led the charge to ask President Obama for his birth certificate to challenge his presidency? Donald ain’t been on shit for a long while, so saying he’s a “Good man” from 5 months ago wasn’t ignorance about his fuckshit. Defend Joel if you want, but this letter ain’t null and void because this interview flew under the radar in October.

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