Now what do we do?
Award season is over.
What will we in Hollywood have to talk about? Our families? Literature? The upcoming presidential election? Yeah, that outcome is kind of important but it’s not like who will win for Best Costumes? The state of the world? Hey, that’s what Best Documentaries are for.
Focusing on Donald Trump is a pale substitute for Harvey Weinstein.
Award season gives meaning to our lives. From early September until the end of February we have structure, and more importantly, purpose.
What are we going to argue about at Starbucks? What are we going to boycott? What will we do on Saturday nights when we have to actually pay to see a movie? Oh, the humanity!
Who do we hate? Isis is bad but they never got a job you wanted.
I just feel so… so… untethered.
There’s nothing to handicap. Oh, I long for those idyllic six-hour power lunches where we tried to determine what a win from the Shreveport Film Critics really portends.
What is there to root for if Lady Gaga is not nominated for something?
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY Radio might as well sign-off until Comic-Con.
The winter months can be cold and brutal (especially in Southern California). At least we can get some comfort watching privileged celebrities dress nice and honor each other. But now? Jesus!
If you think taking down Christmas lights is depressing, just try rolling up red carpets. Is there anything in the world sadder than a 20 foot Oscar statue just propped up in a warehouse? Ignored?!
Oh, sure, the Tony Awards are in June. But that’s New York, and besides, HAMILTON is going to win everything including Best Revival. No real suspense there. And there are the Emmys. But that’s television.
And it’s not just the awards themselves. I don’t want to appear shallow. It’s also the presenters and hosts. How bad will Will Ferrell be this year? Like the swallows returning to Capistrano, there’s always Ricky Gervais ruining the Golden Globes. We’re left adrift.
And the snubs! The after-parties! For Godsakes we now have to go nine whole months without Swag bags!
And the worst part is, we have to face this crisis alone. It’s a bitter pill to swallow but in life there are no seat fillers.
Oh wait. There is hope!
I just learned of the Location Managers Guild International awards to be held April 23rd. Oh, what a relief. There IS a God! So who do you think is going to win?