Let’s Talk About Chris Rock’s Oscars Opening Monologue

I did not plan on boycotting the 2016 Academy Awards but I also didn’t plan on watching it. You’re probably like “wait what?” Yes. I take “boycott” to mean I’m making a conscious decision to show that my support is not going to be added to the mix. I just didn’t feel like watching the penguin show this year but the way my attention span is set up right now? Nah. 3.5 hours of that shit was not how I wanted to spend my Sunday night.

BUT let it be noted that I fully understand why people said “fuck the Oscars” this year. Because: valid. The Academy consistently shows that they don’t give nary a damb about diversity or an actual merit-based awards ceremony.

Anywho, the only part I cared to even catch up on was Chris Rock’s opening monologue.

When he was announced as host of the show, people wanted him to boycott too. But I thought he shoulda gone on and used the opportunity to use comedy to make some serious statements about the sad state of affairs. I even wrote him a few #OscarsSoWhite jokes.

This morning, I caught up and watched Chris’ opening set.

I didn’t love it or hate it. I’m pretty middle of the road about it. There were some good jabs overall in there but I don’t think this was all he could do. I don’t think he pushed the envelope enough. And I also don’t think he made the room uncomfortable. The jokes felt surface and people laughed where they were supposed to.

He did OK. That’s about it. It was just aight. I do feel like he minimized the feelings of those who boycotted. He kinda made it known that it was silly for them to do it and that’s wrong. He’s talmbout why is this the year to boycott, which I think is a goofy question to ask. “Why is this the year to be fed up?” is pointless. Because people get fed up when they’re good and damb well ready. We’ve had to many straws that shoulda rendered the camel paraplegic so to wonder that is a waste of time.

And that Jada joke, about her being salty for Will not getting nominated. Some people said that took it too far. Meh. However, it was a bit creepy for him to say he wouldn’t turn down an invitation into Rihanna’s pants. Sir, she’s almost half your age. STAHP.

My favorite thing he said was:

Is Hollywood racist? You’re damn right Hollywood is racist. But it ain’t that racist that you’ve grown accustomed to. Hollywood is sorority racist. It’s like, “We like you Rhonda, but you’re not a Kappa.” That’s how Hollywood is.

I did enjoy this opening line.

I did enjoy this opening line.

THAT made me chuckle. But I didn’t laugh at loud much during the monologue. Not because I was offended, but because I just wasn’t that tickled. Mostly, my funny bone had a blank stare going on. Chris Rock is funny as hell. Normally. But FOR ME, he fell flat on this monologue. Not his best work and I don’t think he rocked it like he should have.

Again, I didn’t HATE it but I certainly don’t think he NAILED IT, like some folks are saying. Folks talmbout he “skewered” Hollywood. Nah. He just grazed them a little bit with a hotter than usual iron. No one is walking away with proverbial 3rd degree burns. Chris gave them an open hand punch. It hurt a little but not enough.

So, what did y’all think of Chris’ opener. Let’s talk about it! And no, I’m not talmbout Stacey Dash’s janky ass appearance.

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